A greek student in Britain...

that is what the british say about the greeks...
1. owns at least a mobile phone and uses it at inappropriate times and places like restaurants, dates and preferably lectures.

2. owns a mobile phone and make sure its stood up in full view on the table when you are having your "cafe".

3. Refers to anyone who is not Greek as "xeni" and pity them for not being as cultured and sophisticated as the Greeks.

4. Has predominantly Greek friends, with a few "xeni" thrown in for diversity. Talks Greek when the "xeni" are around.

5. Dresses as though you are going for a club when you are actually going to your lectures.

6. If you are a Greek woman, stare menacingly at other women around you, especially if they are english or more attractive than you.

7. Smokes as if it were your last day on earth...and smokes only Marlboros.

8. Travels only in groups of 10 or more and is as loud as possible at all times.

9. If he owns a car, thinks you are the coolest guy in town and cruise around all day even if you own a B reg. Yugo.

10. When you go to greek parties, greet everybody ecstatically with hugs and kisses even if you have seen them that morning.

11. Wears only "designer" labels, even if he buys them off a cart on a sidewalk in Soho.

12. Makes sure "designer" labels are extremely visible, preferably embroidered on the front of the apparel.

13. Guys: if they have hair, cut it every week and use at least 3 different styling products; if they are bald, develop a big ego to mask your insecurity (applicable to short men, too).

14. If it is a greek woman, she dyes her hair an obviously fake shade of blonde that is non existent in nature ans sweats that it's her natural colour.

15. Makes the coffee shop his second house.

16. Goes to none of your lectures but still manages to pass his year.

17. Doesn't do a project unless he can copy from a friend of yours in the year above, even if it's a 50 word essay.

18. Whenever he breaks the law, pretends he doesn't speak english and hopes they let him of

19. For example: never buy a TV license

20. bring around 500 duty free cigarettes with you every time you come back from Greece

21. Smoke them all in a week

22. If you live in London, call yourself "Londrezos". If you live in Manchester call yourself "Manchesterianos" If you live in Cardiff "a sheep shagging Welsh bastards" If you live in Aberdeen "stou diaolou th mana"

23. Study greek style by failing the first year twice and your second year three times so that you can be a student for ten years.

24. Spend £440 a month on calls to Greece and still have money to go to the bouzoukia.